Making the Most of Moments | Saying Goodbye

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been saying goodbyes. Mainly to people – I’ve been contacting friends, ticking them off like an odd shopping list – but also to places and experiences.

Over three months ago, I made a list, a pre-departure bucket list of sorts. I included things like spending quality time with loved ones, visiting several English cities, and enjoying home comforts. And now it’s two weeks until I head out. Time constantly proves its ability to fly, which is daunting, as I know I’ll blink and be on my way. But it’s also a reminder to make the most of the time I have until then, which is exactly what I’ve been doing. 

Goodbyes to people

Over the past few months, I’ve been making the effort to see friends and spending quality time with my family. Being very close with my family, I'm aware that it’s going to be difficult not seeing them for an extended period of time. Moving back from London in August has played a huge role in my ability to spend time with them. And rather than just sharing a living space, I’m squeezing out the joy of opportunities to crochet with my mum or cook with my dad. Board game evenings for four, cheesy Christmas movies… Christmas is a great opportunity to spend time together. I’m also appreciating every snuggle with my dog even more than I did months ago (if that’s possible), and every rabid playtime with ear-threatening squeaky toys. 

I’ve not and probably will not be able to say the perfect goodbye to every friend I’d like to, but I have managed to see many of my friends for a final time before I leave, and I still have two weeks to see some more. I’ve taken the opportunity to remind myself how grateful I am for my friendships, and assure myself that just because I won’t see my friends for a while, it doesn’t mean they’re gone from my life. Some I’ll stay in frequent contact with, and others I'm assured even if I don’t, we’ll meet up again when I’m back. 

Every moment with people I love drips with temporality, and often they are bittersweet. But it is in the knowing that I have to say goodbye that is encouraging me to embrace these moments and wring out every drop of joy in them.

Goodbyes to places

I already said goodbye to London when I moved out in August, but I’ve visited several times since to see friends and make the most of what the city has to offer. My life and routine back home is completely different to the pace I was living in the city, so going back and experiencing the exhausting chaos that used to be daily has a renewed novelty. Having access to exciting theatre and environments that I don’t at home is great, and whilst I miss this excitement sometimes, I know I have so much to come abroad.

Before heading abroad, I was keen to experience a bit more of the UK. A friend of mine is studying in York, so at the beginning of the month I took a trip up there to see her and the city. I’ve been once before for a flying overnight visit and thought it was beautiful, so I was pleased to be able to see more. Whilst there, we had some delicious food and coffee at local businesses, and took some gorgeous (if rainy, and cold!) walks through the quaint cobbled streets and around the historic walls. It was a wholesome weekend where I learnt a lot about the city and my friend’s experiences there.

Goodbyes to experiences

I have no doubt there will come times of homesickness when I’m away. There’s nowhere else I can relax quite like I can at home. I feel totally comfortable and at peace in my parent’s house, surrounded by our shared history and the comforts I can’t get elsewhere. Whilst I am keen to push myself outside of my comfort zone, I figure I may as well enjoy what I can for now! Things like cooking in our kitchen, reading all the books on my shelves (and my sister’s shelves, and the library’s!), relishing my dad’s roast dinners (tomorrow is going to be epic). I’ve also been enjoying the opportunities on my doorstep – a local café that does an incredible vegan cream tea, our favourite Indian takeaway, the woods where I walk the dog. 

I realise that all these things are also enriched by the people I do them or talk about them with. I love reading for the experience itself, but also talking about the stories with my sister and friends. My love for London is attached to the experiences I’ve had there with friends. Those I share places and experiences with enrich and make the moments. So although I’m saying goodbye, I’m making the effort to say ‘speak soon.’ All the wonderful moments I’m having (during these goodbyes) are necessitating it. And what a privilege that is.

It is interesting that I find that everything I am saying goodbye to and making the most of comes back to the people, when a key part of my next adventure is the solo aspect. Of course, I intend to meet people along my journey, to share stories, to learn from/with, to make new memories and share experiences with. But it’s also important for me to experience the challenges of being on my own. What I’m taking from this discovery, is an emphasis on the importance of being my own friend. I know that I need to be a good travel buddy to myself, treat myself well, and be confident and brave to enrich experiences myself.